Morning Team.
I hope that you all had a lovely weekend, and managed to switch off and recharge with whatever you were doing.
What I LEARNED
As its World Mental Health Day today, I thought I would open up and tell you about how mental health has affected my family and I. It’s good to talk about these things, as everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so showing compassion and empathy is important no matter what your role or position. If my experience can help you or those around you to open up and talk to someone, then I can only view that as a good thing.
During the peak of the COVID crisis in 2020, my daughter was entering middle school, then aged 12. What is already a challenging time for pre-teens, became even more over bearing when they were not even allowed in the school for large periods. When they were allowed back in the school, albeit for a limited time, the mental aspect of psychological bullying came straight back to the fore. Its amazing, but even at such a young age, some kids couldn’t seem to grasp the aspect of kindness and support.
As my daughter made this transition to a bigger school, it became clear she was losing her sparkle and twinkle in her eye that she has always had. My wife and I thought it was just down to nerves, and tried to get her to open up to us. The turning point was when she had a panic attack at school, and we had to go and collect her. At this point I knew I had to do something. I had been reading a number of articles about child mental health and the changes of schools, combined with living with COVID, and many of the solutions seem to be to get the kids to talk to a third party, ideally a trained counselor or cognitive behavioral therapist.
I started by reaching out to my HR team to ask them if we had any resources available, and they said that we did indeed have child mental health support as part of our private medical package.
With approval from my daughter to go ahead and set up the sessions, I cannot recommend the support she received highly enough. Not only did they allow her to talk to someone (not her parents) about what she was feeling, but the therapist provided her with the tools to overcome any future panic or anxiety attacks.
My daughter progressed through her sessions with the therapist so well, that she didn’t need to finish course as she was ready to go out there and show the world what she was made of, and how she was much stronger than the bullies.
I have shared this picture below with some of you before, but the culmination of the help and support she received from opening up and talking about her anxiety, fears and concerns, was a dance performance in front of the whole school, including parents. I was so proud of her and still have goosebumps thinking about what she went through, to then go on stage and dance in front of so many people so confidently. It was like she was sticking 2 fingers up to the bullies and making a statement of seeing past that, and being her true authentic self.
We didn’t know it at the time, but there was a professional photographer in the audience, who captured this shot of my daughter below on stage. I love this pic for so many reasons, but the main reason is that it symbolises the courage she had to talk to someone about what was going on in her head, to embrace the support and feedback she received, and come out of what was a dark period for her (and us), and become a much stronger independent woman. This picture, for me, encapsulates all of this emotion and her showing the world what she is made of.
The Mental health is all around us, and having gone through the experience with my daughter, I have seen for myself the power of talking to someone. If any of you ever want to talk to someone, whether that’s a trained professional but don’t know where to start, or would like to talk to me to help you find support, then please do.
What I LIKED
To continue musings around mental health, I thought I’d share a clip from a podcast I listened too recently with Alistair Campbell. Whatever your opinion of him, he went through some dark times and sought advice. Everyone has different mechanisms for coping and making sense of what is going on in their minds, but here Alistair talks about what has worked for him in the concept of a jam-jar:
Final thought
Feedback is a gift, and I’m always trying to improve or understand what’s working and what’s not. Please leave any constructive feedback that you feel can help me improve or continue with what’s working.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you have a successful and fulfilling day.
Thanks Andy. Eye masks work well as they also help to aide sleep without letting ambient light in.
Love it. Thanks Nik. I have also thought that I must do more reading before bed. How do you solve…
Hi Dee. Great to hear from you and pleased that you enjoy reading my musings. I appreciate the feedback. The…
Hi Nik, I love receiving these emails. They are a lovely start to the week. Your reflection on the autobiography…
More to follow on that mate 😉
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Leadership Lessons – From June 14th 2021.
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